There was the phone call this morning from the hospital to register me for surgery next Wednesday. The lady that called had to ask all sorts of questions. You would think all this would be in a master database somewhere. They should know what color nail polish I wore in high school by now or if I have a mole on my behind. Not that I wore nail polish or have a mole there, but it is the principal of the thing. Although, she was very nice, especially when she found out that I might have a latex allergy. It means that I have to be first in the operating room that morning.
Dr. Hopson was very nice and said that my tumor was malignant without any expression at all. I don't think it hit me at first and I just looked at him and heard loud buzzing in my head. The tears burst forth and he tried to comfort me. All the while, I heard voices from the past saying, "Don't cry, Barbara, be a good girl and don't let people see you cry." I never really listened to them before, but this day I did. I got myself together and made the arrangements with the nurse for my visit to the hospital on the 28th.
When I got to the waiting room, Ray was there and he could see from my big red nose and red eyes what was going on. He put out his arms and just held me awhile. We went home and I think I was in a little daze for a while. I called my sister, Jan, in Florida. She went through a double mastomectomy a few years ago. I had called her before and she knew why I was calling when she got my message and called me back later.
In the meanwhile, I called my mother in Kentucky. My little mother who has gone through the death of her younger son, and now a second daughter with breast cancer. It was so hard to tell her, but this wasn't something I could keep from her. She isn't just my mother, she is my best friend. I have told her everything I thought and did in the past few years. Even though we don't see each other quite enough, we talk three or four times a week. Cell phones are wonderful.
My daughter, Rhonda, in North Carolina was stunned with the news. I think this has shown her that she should go to the doctor and get a mammagram ASAP.
I must say that the most supportive person has been my husband. Ray is so wonderful. I tell him all the time that he is the man I prayed for. God is Good, All the Time.
I spoke with my Bible Study teacher's wife, Ann, and she called the rest of the class. Today, I received two cards already. So far I am on the prayer list at First Baptist Church, Temple Baptist Church, and a Lutheran Church. I keep saying to myself "I can do all thing through Christ, who strengthens me." I have these little cards and they are stuck on every mirror in the house.
I have so many things going on right now. I retired the end of last September. I am a distributor for Mary Kay, Independent Distributor for the National Companies, a 1K independent distributor for XanGo, and I am trying to learn my husband's business, Lien Processing Services LLC. Not to mention, now I am blogging. Blogging is for me, so I can keep focused. I promise to be faithful and report the feelings and thoughts as we go along. For those who haven't read a blog before, you have to go to the last post on the page (which is actually the first post). We can all figure this out together.
I should have been at a informational meeting at the Marriott today for XanGo, but I am a little depressed. After we went to the hospital for the blood tests and EKG, we went to Langley BX and picked up a few things. Then we came home and had roast beef and brown rice. Now I am so tired, I think it is time for bed. Tune in tomorrow for more from the mad house. Love to all.