The Girls are Back in Town!

Reconstruction #2 brought the "Girls" back in line. Thank you, Lord. The only thing left now is the tattoo. Funny, I always said that I would never get a tattoo. First, they gave me 2 blue dots when I had radiation, and now I am going to get a nipple. They say that the results are amazing.  Do I have to be awake for this? Will they make it look like a butterfly if I want? I found this picture on a breast reconstruction website, so don't get all excited thinking it is me. Mine should look a little better since I don't have a big scar. Something I had not expected, but the plastic surgeon moved the nipple on the left and I still have feeling in it. When he did a tummy tuck in 2002, I lost all feeling in my stomach below my waist. I can give myself shots without even flinching.

The amazing thing is that they are C-cup. I could have had larger, but I prefer for people to look at me in the eyes instead of my chest. I have had to wear a bra since the surgery, but soon I will be able to go without one if I want. They are back where they were when I was twenty and it is amazing. I can get a normal swimsuit again. Now I cannot imagine why I waited 4 years to have this done. I was under the impression that it really did not matter. I am married to the last husband I will ever have and the only other people who will actually see my chest are doctors and nurses.

I cannot even explain how this has made me feel. I feel whole again. I had no idea that it would give me this feeling of validation. Somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, I must have concluded that I was no longer a real woman. If you think about it, we are in a society that makes us feel less than whole if we have imperfections.

I do not remember, but I think I explained that the cancer in my breast was not hereditary, but environmental. Be careful about what chemicals are in your home, your workplace, places where you visit, for any length of time. I worked in a sick building at Langley Air Force Base. There was a bay door in the warehouse that the communications squadron left open on a regular basis. Pigeons would  fly into the rafters and poop on top of our building. Our air condition was on our roof and the drain pan would get stopped up, overflow into the wall by my desk. It was always damp, The water was filtered through the pigeon poop, which can lead to all kinds of problems. There was one desk in the big room that had a hole in the wall where they had removed a plug or something. Everyone who sat in that position, contracted cancer, and passed away (3 people). I guess I am the one who is lucky to still be here.

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME

ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!

Our Social Media Friend Wayne Hurlbert Passes.

I went on #smmanners tonight and found out that @WayneHurlbert had passed away. It seems so strange to me. He was there every Friday night playing the music for the Social Media Girlfriends #Slumberparty. He played most every Social Media Girlfriends venue. He will be missed. He always knew how to keep up with what was going on. We will surely miss him and keep his family in our thoughts and prayers.

John Danes, CSI, CDT@johndanes

RT @DabneyPorte Tonight we dedicate #SmManners To our Music Man @WayneHurlbert Who died suddenly.... #RIPMusicMan

10:55pm · 15 Oct 13 · Twubs

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Search for Meaning in Dementia

In between surgeries,  my daughter Rhonda,  and her children, Garrett and Taylor decided to go to Kentucky to visit my brother. The children were so excited because my brother has a in-ground pool, Media Room, and a Pool Table. There are all kinds of video games. You would think we were going to Disney.

We used to go stay with my mother, but she has recently entered Assisted Living. This is so difficult for me to write about because she now has dementia. I think she has had it for a long time, but it just was not quite as evident as it is now. She used to say to me, "I don't remember that; how do you remember so much that happened so long ago?" I never really thought of it as a problem until she almost lost most of her estate to crooks who were selling her websites and charging her each month for upkeep, with no return on investment. There were companies and private people who did these things.

Most of the people were clairvoyants, seers, fortune tellers, etc. They took her money to the tune of over $3 a minute for phone calls. Trust me, if someone tells you they can talk to your dead relatives, see ghosts, read your palm, etc., they are charlatans and provided for your entertainment by dark forces that can destroy you and your family.

Evidently, she could get herself into these messes, but could not figure out how to get out of them. My brother spent months recovering most of her money. Thank God, she used her credit cards to do all this. He was able to reclaim all but about $5K of her money. This is a woman who was considered to be a very smart business woman. She had her interior designing business for about 40 years and always had a wonderful standing in the community.

This tells me that everyone should pay attention to their aging parents. After all, if they worked hard all their life to provide for their retirement, we should not let crooks bilk them out of their future. We could end up paying the price for our indifference. I would say that at the first sign of a problem, you should step in and even get counselling with an estate planner or someone who knows the law. If we had been paying closer attention, we would have noticed things that were unusual, before they got out of hand.

Take care of your parents, as they once took care of you. Even if you thought they didn't take care of you very well, step up to the plate to make sure that crooks are not stalking them like they did my mother. There are people out there who are making hundreds of phone calls each day, just looking for that person who may not be "quite right." They know about your parents mental capacity before you do.

Mother is a very independent person and still wants my brother to bring her computer to her apartment. He doesn't dare. It is bad enough that she orders junk on the TV. That could be one of your first indications that something is going on. You go to your parents home and see "Things Seen on TV" all over the place, some still in the boxes and not even opened. Check with their neighbors and see if UPS or FEDEX trucks are constantly delivering to their house. She only has one credit card now, with limited charging capability. She is not happy about giving up control, but is learning to live with it.

If you find a lot of things are not going well, ask to be put on the list so you can talk to their doctor. If the doctor says it is necessary, consult a lawyer about taking over to keep them out of trouble.

It is not only their future, but yours too. Poor choices on their part because of dementia can also hurt your finances in the future as you struggle to take care of them. Be observant, loving, and concerned. They are your parents, don't let them be hurt by others. Stand up and take a stand!

Pink(er) - 2 - Getting ready for Reconstruction

I am sitting here typing and looking at some of the most beautiful roses I have ever seen. My Social Media Girlfriend, Dabney Porte, sent a dozen Pink Roses. She is just the most wonderful "sister." It is so nice to receive something when someone wants to show their appreciation. Dabney is always so positive and I love her energy and spirit so much. She is an inspiration to so many women. Watch out world, Dabney is watching you!

I apologize for not keeping my promise to blog every day until surgery. It is Friday and I am sitting here trying to think of something to say. It has been a harrowing week. Express Scripts merged with MEDCO and I must have gotten lost in the mix. I have spent hours on the phone waiting for someone to finally talk to, but not much luck. I thought I had it all straightened out the week before when I spent an hour and 15 minutes on hold and then over 30 minutes with the customer service representative, who assured me that everything was taken care of. Here it is Friday, and I still do not have my Enbrel or Methotrexate.

I received four bags of medications yesterday, but not the ones that I need the most. The Rheumatoid Arthritis is really kicking up. My joints are swelling, I am not sure I am going to make it until the surgery. It is painful to type. Thank God my Rheumatologist gave me a Cortisone shot in my right wrist. It is still swelling, but does not hurt quite as bad. 

I would like to thank the people who retweeted and shared my last post. I think it got more hits than any post I have ever done.


Tonight is the #Slumberparty on #SMGirlfriends. We have a Sponsor. Pretzel Crisps.

What is rheumatoid arthritis?

Rheumatoid arthritis is an autoimmune disease, which means it's a disease of the immune system. Your immune system works to protect your body against attacks by bacteria or viruses. But when it's not working correctly—such as with rheumatoid arthritis—your immune system mistakenly attacks your own body, specifically at the joints. This can cause the pain, swelling, and stiffness associated with rheumatoid arthritis. 

While the exact causes of RA are unknown, researchers believe genetics, environmental factors and a protein in the body called tumor necrosis factor (TNF) may play a role. Some people with RA have too much of the protein TNF in the affected area of the body. TNF causes inflammation in the joints, and the inflammation is what leads to the pain and stiffness of RA.

Only a doctor can diagnose rheumatoid arthritis. If you're not sure you have rheumatoid arthritis, please talk to your doctor. Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic disease. So it's important to slow the progression of joint damage as well as reduce the signs and symptoms associated with rheumatoid arthritis.

Do not make the mistake most people make. RA is not the same as Osteoarthritis, not by a long shot. I have both and I can tell you the RA part much worse.

Reconstruction - First Surgery

I know that I said that I was going to write about the reconstruction surgery right after it happened. I have had "writer's block." First, I was disappointed. The right breast didn't seem any bigger, just squarer, and the left breast had the nipple re-sectioned higher, but still hung low.

I went in after a couple of weeks and saw the surgeon and he was not too happy either. Anyway, we are going to do surgery again in September. The girls will be standing tall and be a full C cup, kind of like when I was twenty. Wow! And, the good news is that the insurance will pay for it again. I found out that there is a law in Virginia that says that if you have breast cancer and surgery to remove the breast, then your insurance is obligated to pay for reconstruction, even if it is years down the road.

The bad news is that I had to quit my shots of Enbrel for 3 weeks because it lowers my immune system. So then, the RA got worse, which I fixed with 20m of prednisone. Not good, now I am back on Enbrel but feel so much better taking the prednisone, I don't want to stop. I don't like to think of the swelling, inflammation, and pain that will happen when I cut back. At least, I was able to enjoy my trip to Kentucky to see my mother. She is in assisted living now. She has dementia. That is really difficult.

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME! 

ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!

Can I get Pink(er)?

Seven Days and Counting to Reconstruction!

Monday was a day of preparation for surgery. I went to the Plastic Surgeons office and met with the nurse for a detailed evaluation for my surgery on Tuesday, June 30, 2013. Boy I was almost stumped at the questions that were asked. Why are you taking this medication? How often do you take it? How does it make you feel? Considering all the medications that I am taking, there were loads of questions.

Taking something for anxiety, blood flow, Gurd, pain, RA, Osteopenia. So many medications that some even have more than one for one problem. I am also taking Vitamist Spray Vitamins. I started doing that over 3 months ago and am feeling well enough to do the surgery. I don't smoke anymore (23 years), I don't drink alcohol (I don't like to lose control and it tastes nasty to me), and the only drugs I do are prescription. If I could quit eating too, I wouldn't have a weight problem. I seem to be able to go cold turkey for addictions, but not modification for food. I just love food, all kinds of food. What is a girl to do?

Oh, I forgot the pictures. They took pictures of my boobs and I had to sign away my rights to them. My face was not in them, and the doctor will use the pictures for the surgery and who knows? I might end up in a medical journal someday. Did you ever think: could someone identify my body without looking at my face? I am not sure I could identify myself. They took pictures when I had my tummy tuck in 2002. It has done really well. I may have a big butt, but my tummy is flat. That also makes your boobs look bigger. I have noticed  little luv handles forming around the sides. Got to exercise more.

We have been on Atkins and Ray has lost so much weight. I don't seem to be able to. (I guess I will have to give up my stash of Cheetos.) Remember the old joke: The woman got on the talking scale and it said "One at a time Please!" I could lose a small ugly person.

Anyway, in just seven more days, I will have 2 complete boobs! The other boob will be raised to where it used to be.

God is Good All the Time! - All the Time, God is Good!

I am going to share every day until the surgery and for a while after. Leave comments or join my blog for updates.

Love and Kisses!

Survivor Reconstruction Pink

Wasted Time!

I finally decided to have breast reconstruction. If you are a regular reader, you know that it has been 4 years since I had the surgery to remove the cancer in my breast. I don't know why I thought that it wouldn't matter to me. I even remember saying to someone "It doesn't really matter to me. I am married and I don't ever plan to marry anyone else. My husband says that it doesn't matter to him either."

Then, I remember the times I got out of the shower and could not look at myself. I wouldn't let Ray see it either. I decided last year to go to the doctor and have the reconstruction done, but I missed the appointment. I think that I subconsciously missed it because I was afraid.


I have had so many issues with the Rheumatoid Arthritis and sometimes even felt like I wouldn't live another year like this. I think I have been using the RA not to get the surgery. I have tried to keep busy with writing, tweeting, blogging, posting to Facebook, Pinterest, Empire Avenue, etc. Sometimes I can not get out of the house. I have started taking more Prednisone and it certainly helps. The problem with larger doses of Cortisone is that they can make for brittle bones.

I have been so fortunate to find friends on the different areas of Social Media. Everyone has been so supportive through all my illnesses, that I don't know how I will ever repay the kindnesses. I know, prayer works. The Prayer Room is open, if you need prayer or need someone to share with, let me know and we can get in touch and pray it down.

The surgery is scheduled for July 31st. The doctor says that it will be day-surgery and I will be able to come right home a couple of hours after the surgery. It will be at the hospital, not in his office. The really good news is that he said he will lift the other breast to match the surgery.

It really is weird that women (me) are so wrapped up in what we look like that even when a body part that is covered most of the time is damaged, we begin to feel that we are really damaged and no one would want to be with us because we are not "whole." I am being honest here. I feel bereft of my breast. I saw some pictures of the same kind of surgery they are doing on me, and it looked really good, and almost normal.

I just keep telling myself:

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME

ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD