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Monday, December 31, 2012

YEARS ENDING PINK?

Flowers sent to me by
Kathy Ireland
when I was so sick
with pneumonia.
ENDING PINK? On January 2, it will be 4 years since I found the lump on my right breast. On January 28, it will be 4 years since I had surgery to remove part of my right breast and some lymph nodes. It has been a rocky 4 years, after the life-sucking tiredness of radiation and the nauseating chemo-therapy, there still is the overwhelming feeling that the cancer is coming back. I know this is not a good way to think, but sometimes you just cannot control your thoughts.

Kathy Ireland - Super Friend!
I try so hard to be positive and be the Professional Encourager that I say that I am, fights this feeling every day. Something about the word "Cancer" just changes your life in ways that people that have not been through it can not understand. For me, it was like hitting a brick wall at full speed. I was fortunate that the cancer was only very minuscule in the lymph nodes. The treatment was supposed to take care of that and I am still on the 5 year regimen of pills that is supposed to keep it from coming back.

Then, after the chemo, my mother came to visit. You know that when your mother comes to visit, especially if you haven't seen her in a while, you hire people to clean the house and the yard. The house looked great, but unfortunately, the yard guys stripped out all my beautiful Clematis vines and my Grecian urn garden (actually dragged the stones and pots into the street). Mother and I were both prolific gardeners and it made us both sick. The second day she was here, we drove to our "beach house" in NC. On the way down, I started having terrible pain in my right side. I thought it was just "air." Not so, by the time we reached the house, I was in so much pain, I could barely walk. My daughter called 911 and the Rescue Squad was there in less than 4 minutes.

They took me to the beautiful hospital in New Bern. They took many tests and determined it was pneumonia. Ten days there in the hospital went so quickly because Ray brought my computer and doped up on morphine as I was, I really got into Twitter. I became fast friends with people all over the world who ended up praying for me to get better.

Finally, I got to go home to VA. Then I checked in with my doctor here, and ended up back in Riverside Regional Medical Center with pneumonia again. Ten more days with my Twitter friends. During that time, our new pastor at First Baptist Church of Newport News VA, came to visit. He is a very kind and caring person, Pastor Dale Seley. He later told me that they were not sure I was going to make it. They had people come in and sit with me from church because I was in a private room and Ray had to work. The lovely ladies from church were wonderful.

The morphine must have been keeping me upbeat, because I don't remember feeling that I wouldn't make it. The one thing that I clung to the whole time was my love of God and knowing that no matter what happened to me personally, I would be in a good place with Him. I guess he wasn't finished with me yet, so here I am.

Looking back over the past four years, there have been many times when I have been depressed. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis from the markers on the BRACA  test for cancer. I have experienced a lot of pain, but I must always take another look at the day from a different prospective. I see so many people out there who are a lot more worse off than I am. A dear friend, Sandy Gueierre in Wilmington NC has been a great help to me. All I can tell you, is keep your faith in God; He will carry you through it all. He will be your best friend and the love of your life.


My husband, Ray, has be absolutely wonderful through all this. He is so patient with me and says "yes" to everything I want to do. He knows my heart and is truly the man that I prayed for so many years.

I have met so many people on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, etc. They all had a part in my life that kept me positive. Dabney Porte, my beautiful Social Media Girlfriend has been there for me the past couple of years. She always has a positive attitude, no matter who is trying to tear her down. She has been one of the rocks that I lean on. She has so much integrity, spirit, and love that I cannot imagine how anyone could ever be mean to her. Although, lately, there are a couple of sick people who are trying to destroy what she has, but they will not succeed. Any time you try to tear down others, you are the one who ends up on the bottom of the heap.

Thank you all for all the help, love, and friendship you have shown me over the past 4 years. I love you all more than you will ever know.


GOD IS GOOD - ALL THE TIME!
ALL THE TIME - GOD IS GOOD!

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4 comments:

  1. I heart you Barbara Duke. Amazing post and thank you so much for sharing. You inspire a generation of women under you to be brave, positive, and loving. xoxoxo ~Tomeka Napper

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    1. Thank you Tomeka. I do hope and pray that what I have to say helps someone to live a more positive life no matter what the circumstances. I appreciate you very much for responding to my blog. People don't leave comments very often and it is refreshing to know that someone out there really cares and reads what I have to say. Thank you again, sweet friend.

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  2. Thank you so much for sharing this. While I have tweeted with you for almost two years, I always wanted to know your story. What a wonderful way your life has unfolded.I congratulate you on 4 years healthy and clean and 4 years of encouraging uplifting and sharing the sweet blessedness you walk in.
    much love
    lori

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  3. Thank you so much for this post. Barbara you are a blessing to so many. I have never told you how much I appreciate you. There are times due to my illness that I can't get out of bed. Self pity starts to creep in as I pull the sheets over my head. Maybe feeling sorry for the person I no longer am or what I no longer can do. I try to push it away but the ugly depression sneaks in. Then I look and there is a beautiful smiling face posting positive messages on twitter. Your tweets are like sunshine to an otherwise dark and lonely room Barbara. So in the darkness you bring me light and I can't thank you enough. You are on my prayer list and I know God will protect you and continue to give you strength. You bring His love and hope to so many. You make a difference and I can't thank you enough. Virtual hugs!

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