M - Mammogram Again? - A TO Z Blogging Challenge

Last week I had a mammogram. That is something that I have to pray about and sometimes cross my fingers about.
They also asked me to stay and did an ultra-sound. It seemed to be alright, but today I received a letter from the radiologist and I have to have another mammogram in 2 or 3 weeks. This is very disturbing and it is difficult to keep the tears back.


When I found the lump back in January 2009, I walked around in a daze until the surgery the end of January. It was Stage I and the doctor said not to worry. But, when they tested the lymph nodes, the found microscopic evidence of more cancer. So, I had radiation. Every weekday for 28 days. I got 2 little tattoos out of that. The results from the BRACA test came back and we found out that it was not genetic, but environmental. The doctor left it up to me to whether I had chemo or not. The end game was, if I had the chemo, I should not have to worry again, at least not for 10 years or so. 

So, I took my new laptop to the Cancer Center twice a week for 12 weeks and taught myself  how to use Twitter and Facebook. I found some pretty interesting people online. I met people in Australia, New Zealand, the UK, Canada, Hawaii, Alaska, and almost all of the Continental United States. A lot of people in the Far East. 

Our little Beach House

In August, my mother came to visit and we drove down to North Carolina to our Beach House. On the way down, I started to have severe pain on my right side and by the time we got there, Ray had to call the Rescue Squad. We were surprised, but they were there in less than 5 minutes. 

They loaded me in the ambulance and took me to New Bern. I was in the hospital for 10 days. They sent in every kind of doctor you can imagine, even a exotic medicine doctor. They finally decided it must be pneumonia. Every time they tried to take me off the morphine drip, I would be in so much pain, all I could do was cry. They were finally able to get me on to Oxycodone and send me home. Ray drove me back to Virginia as soon as he could.

It was on a Sunday and they had made me an appointment at the Cancer Center for Monday morning. I went and they sent me to the Hospital for a chest x-ray and it showed a problem with my right lung, so back into the hospital I went. I was there for 10 days and it is a blur, just like being in the hospital in NC was. 

Mother, Me & Social Media

Some friends from church would come and sit with me during the day so I would not have to wait for the nurse to come to take me to the bathroom. You are a little woozy on a morphine drip. The pain was so bad, that I could feel it even with the drip and other pain medicines. Finally, it got better and I was able to go home. I am not sure they ever actually knew what it was.

Since I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) from some of the tests taken in the hospital, they sent me to a Rheumatologist. He did not seem to care about what happened, just was was going on now. I saw him every 3 months since October 2009 until he retired in October 2013. I have a new Rheumatologist now and I like her very much. She is very thorough and did a full exam both times I have seen her. Last time, she told me she suspected the first time she saw me that I had Fibromyalgia, too. Now, after examining me again, she was certain. She gave me all kinds of literature explaining what it is and what are the symptoms. No wonder they could not figure out why the RA was so constant. Normally, you have some respite when you go into remission occasionally.   

During all this time in the hospital and after I got home, I had so many people on Social Media who were there for me. I would chat with people in Australia in the middle of the night when I could not sleep. The ladies at my church made sure that I had plenty of cards and prayers going up to Heaven for me. I received over 250 actual cards while I was sick and that is not even counting virtual cards. I had them all in a basket that I called my basket of prayer. 

I will call tomorrow and see what my nurse at the Cancer Center says, they should have a copy of the letter. I have an appointment with my Oncologist on Monday, so I may have to just live with the "if " until then.

This comes at a time that I am praying constantly for our friend @Livinlime on Twitter, Marie Walker Riddle. She has triple-negative breast cancer and it is Stage IV. I am so sorry that she is having to go through this. No one should have to go through it. I hope they find a cure soon. My son-in-law's mother had breast cancer for 25 years. When she passed a couple of years ago, she did not even weigh a hundred pounds. She went through so much but she had a supportive
family around her, supporting her at every turn.

So, so much for me. I hope you are all well and happy. I am a pretty happy person most of the time. I am nervous about this, but to my joy, I am not afraid. I will be fine because:

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!

ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!

He loves us and everything that happens is for a purpose.

C - Color of Cancer - A to Z Blogging Challenge (PR)

History of Cancer Ribbons

Thought to have begun with Napoleon Bonaparte, ribbons to represent illnesses and causes are here to stay.


As we delve into Cancer and the pain it causes to most families, we will learn that it really can not hurt who we are, unless we let it. (borrowed from About.com) 

For me, cancer is pink. Pink plays a big part in my life. Pink ribbons, Pink Bows, Pink Flamingos, Pink shoes, etc.. . . . .

All Cancers – Light Purple (Lavender)
Appendix Cancer – Amber
Bile Duct Cancer – Green
Bladder Cancer - Yellow
Bone Cancer – Yellow
Bone Marrow Transplant – Green
Brain Cancer – Gray
Breast Cancer (Women) – Pink (Hot Pink for Inflammatory Breast Cancer, Teal and Pink for
Hereditary Breast Cancer, Teal and Pink for Breast and Gynecologic Cancers Together)
Breast Cancer (Men) – Light Baby Pink and Baby Blue
Cancer Survivor – Purple
Carcinoid Syndrome – Black and White (Zebra-Striped)
Caregiver – Lavender
Cervical Cancer – Teal and White
Childhood Cancer – Gold
Cholangiocarcinoma - Yellow
Chondrosarcoma – Yellow
Colon Cancer – Blue or Brown
Colorectal Cancer – Blue or Brown
Endometrial Cancer - Peach
Esophageal Cancer – Light Purple (periwinkle)

Ewing’s Sarcoma – Yellow 

Gallbladder Cancer – Yellow
Gastric Cancer – Periwinkle Blue
Glioblastoma – Gray 

Gynecological Cancer - Teal Head and Neck Cancer – Burgundy and Ivory or Red and White
Hodgkin’s Lymphoma - Violet
Kidney Cancer (Renal Cell Carcinoma) – Green or Orange
Laryngeal Cancer – Burgundy and White
Leiomyosarcoma - Purple
Leukemia – Orange
Leukemia and Lymphoma Together – Red/White/Red Stripes
Liver Cancer – Emerald or Jade Green
Living (Coping) with Cancer – Blue and Silver
Lung Cancer – Pearl, Clear or White
Lymphedema – Light Blue
Lymphoma (Non-Hodgkins) – Lime Green

 
Melanoma – Black
Mesothelioma - Pearl
Myeloma – Burgundy
Myeloproliferative Diseases – Orange and Red
Neuroendocrine Cancers – Black and White (Zebra)
Oral Cancer – Burgundy and White or Red and White
Osteosarcoma - Yellow
Ovarian Cancer – Teal
Pancreatic Cancer – Purple
Pharyngeal Cancer – Burgundy and White
Prostate Cancer – Light Blue
Rare Diseases (Including Rare Cancers) – Black and White (Zebra)
Rectal Cancer – Blue
Retinoblastoma – White
Sarcoma – Yellow
Skin Cancer – Orange (with a sun)
Skin Cancer (Squamous Cell Carcinoma) – Red and White
Small Intestine Cancer – Periwinkle blue
Stomach Cancer – Periwinkle Blue
Testicular Cancer – Purple (Orchid or Violet)
Throat Cancer – Burgundy and White
Thyroid Cancer – Blue/Pink-Purple/Teal
Uterine Cancer – Peach or Teal
Waldenstrom’s Macroglobulinemia – Pearl

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!

ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!

B - Blogging for Breast Cancer - A to Z Challenge (PR)

Someone asked me once why would I want to put myself out there for everyone to see that I had Breast Cancer. 

• I have nothing to hide.
• If something I went through helps someone else, I guess I am paying it forward.

We all have obstacles to overcome, but it is so much easier if you have the support of those you love. 

When you find out you have breast cancer, your first reaction is "Why Me?" and maybe a few tears. Then you start to share with your friends and family and you see how much you are loved. Stress is much easier managed when you have friends to share with and build up and encourage you.

All things are possible with God! You may not believe in God, but if you do, He will be there for you. Talk (pray) to Him a lot. Of course, he knows what we want and need, but He wants us to ask for it. He is our Father. He loves us and wants the best for us. Sometimes what is best for us in our eyes is not His plan. Be still, meditate on Him, He will speak to you.

I have added one of my Social Media Girlfriends, Marie Walker Riddle to my prayer list, and be sure, God will be hearing from me each day. 

Marie Walker Riddle

                                                 

"I would rather live my life as if there was a God and die to find out there isn't, than to live my life like there was no God and die to find out there is."    - Albert Camus

So everyone have a lovely day, and remember someone who needs your prayers and encouragement today.

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!

ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!

Reconstruction - First Surgery

I know that I said that I was going to write about the reconstruction surgery right after it happened. I have had "writer's block." First, I was disappointed. The right breast didn't seem any bigger, just squarer, and the left breast had the nipple re-sectioned higher, but still hung low.

I went in after a couple of weeks and saw the surgeon and he was not too happy either. Anyway, we are going to do surgery again in September. The girls will be standing tall and be a full C cup, kind of like when I was twenty. Wow! And, the good news is that the insurance will pay for it again. I found out that there is a law in Virginia that says that if you have breast cancer and surgery to remove the breast, then your insurance is obligated to pay for reconstruction, even if it is years down the road.

The bad news is that I had to quit my shots of Enbrel for 3 weeks because it lowers my immune system. So then, the RA got worse, which I fixed with 20m of prednisone. Not good, now I am back on Enbrel but feel so much better taking the prednisone, I don't want to stop. I don't like to think of the swelling, inflammation, and pain that will happen when I cut back. At least, I was able to enjoy my trip to Kentucky to see my mother. She is in assisted living now. She has dementia. That is really difficult.

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME! 

ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!

Survivor Reconstruction Pink

Wasted Time!

I finally decided to have breast reconstruction. If you are a regular reader, you know that it has been 4 years since I had the surgery to remove the cancer in my breast. I don't know why I thought that it wouldn't matter to me. I even remember saying to someone "It doesn't really matter to me. I am married and I don't ever plan to marry anyone else. My husband says that it doesn't matter to him either."

Then, I remember the times I got out of the shower and could not look at myself. I wouldn't let Ray see it either. I decided last year to go to the doctor and have the reconstruction done, but I missed the appointment. I think that I subconsciously missed it because I was afraid.


I have had so many issues with the Rheumatoid Arthritis and sometimes even felt like I wouldn't live another year like this. I think I have been using the RA not to get the surgery. I have tried to keep busy with writing, tweeting, blogging, posting to Facebook, Pinterest, Empire Avenue, etc. Sometimes I can not get out of the house. I have started taking more Prednisone and it certainly helps. The problem with larger doses of Cortisone is that they can make for brittle bones.

I have been so fortunate to find friends on the different areas of Social Media. Everyone has been so supportive through all my illnesses, that I don't know how I will ever repay the kindnesses. I know, prayer works. The Prayer Room is open, if you need prayer or need someone to share with, let me know and we can get in touch and pray it down.

The surgery is scheduled for July 31st. The doctor says that it will be day-surgery and I will be able to come right home a couple of hours after the surgery. It will be at the hospital, not in his office. The really good news is that he said he will lift the other breast to match the surgery.

It really is weird that women (me) are so wrapped up in what we look like that even when a body part that is covered most of the time is damaged, we begin to feel that we are really damaged and no one would want to be with us because we are not "whole." I am being honest here. I feel bereft of my breast. I saw some pictures of the same kind of surgery they are doing on me, and it looked really good, and almost normal.

I just keep telling myself:

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME

ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD

Quilting PINK

This is one of the most beautiful quilts that I have ever seen. I just had to showcase it today.  This quilt was featured in  Woman's Day Magazine. I am sure that it was made with great precision and love.

Stars of Grace

;

Joy Quilters is the group I belong to at First Baptist Church of Newport News VA are almost ready to take out quilts to the Children's Hospital for the Kings Daughters in Newport News for the children in chemo. I know from experience how cold it gets when you are having chemo. We have had another sewing machine promised to us. That will make three. It will be nice when we don't have to drag them to church every week.

We are so fortunate to live in this wonderful country, where we have the freedom to create beautiful things and are able to sell them if we want. We can give them to our children or to a museum if we wish. We do not have to work in sweat shops, but can work in the comfort of our homes. Our time is our own, most of the time anyway.

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!

ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!

Blood PINK

It seems I am always having blood tests. One last Friday for Coumadin check, today for appointment w/cancer Doc next week, one later in the week for Rheumatologist appointment next week. I feel like a pincushion. Why so many? My doctors don't all belong to the same group so they cannot see tests from other doctors. The Cancer Center is part of the major hospital group that I belong to, so all of their doctors can see my tests, but those outside of my group cannot. They have to rely on people faxing them with the info. They may fax today, or next week, or not at all. I am surprised the insurance companies don't make them transfer them electronically. I am sure that this adds to billing with all these duplicates. Oh, I forgot about the doctors offices that have their own little labs. 

Then think about the x-rays. When I had pneumonia, I was in the hospital in New Bern NC for 10 days. Do you think the x-rays taken there were sent to my primary care doctor who is responsible for my major care? A summary was sent that was the opinion of the doctor who saw them in NC. While I was there, I saw almost every doctor in town, except the fertility docs and pediatricians. They agreed I had pneumonia, but there was another thing that they could not figure out. When I came home to VA, I was put back in the hospital and all the same kinds of doctors came to see me. All the same x-rays, blood tests, etc. There were gastro, pulmonary, heart doctors involved. Even my vein doctor became involved. He was so concerned, he had them do a full body scan to see if there was any cancer involved in my bones (it was after I was declared cancer-free from my cancer doctor).

I am finding out now that the term "cancer-free" does not mean that it won't come back. I met a lady the other day who has had 2 lumpectomies previously and now has been diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer. She was at the cancer center to speak with her cancer nurse to set up her chemotherapy appointments. Evidently, once you have had cancer there is a pretty strong possibility that it will come back. I know this is not a popular opinion and it is just my own. No one tells you this when they tell you that you are "cancer-free." It doesn't mean "cancer-free" forever.

By the way, all three times she has had cancer, she found it herself just like I did. So, please remember that self-examination is so-o-o-o important!

Anyway, in keeping with my own positivity, I declare me "cancer-free." So, I will keep getting stuck like a pin cushion for as long as it takes.

I think that when I had breast cancer, it had been caused by extreme stress instituted by a very unprofessional bully boss. Then when he retired, the new boss was nice but the bully spoke to him at lunch the first day he was in the office and declared me an incompetent person. It was strange because, the boss I had before him was very positive and loved my innovation and dedication to my work. He praised me constantly and provided me with training that involved sending me to California and Seattle occasionally.

When he retired, the bully boss came. He didn't like the previous boss, so therefore, he did not like me. Luckily, I had become friends with the region chief, who became one of the top people in the agency. I called him on occasion or emailed him with info about what was going on at his request. I even went to personnel about the bully occasionally. I think he finally retired when he was told to retire of get fired. Not a good situation. He had demeaned me so much in the office that the other employees began to believe him. I was at my wits end and when the time came that I could retire, I did.  I thought I could get another job and continue to work but once I got settled down enough to look for another job, I had cancer. Tell me stress doesn't harm your health. Over three years later, I am still not doing so well.

If you are in a situation where you are being bullied, get out, any way you can. Life is too short to let others bully you. At the same time all this was going on, I was ordained as a deacon in my church and I became lead usher. I was elected President of my Lions Club 2 times and held positions in my Woman's Club and NAP Unit. I have never had anything even comparable to happen to me in my life. I am not stupid and have a reasonably high IQ. I am a nice person who lives to help others, because I believe that the only way to serve God is through service to others. Why do you think that this man had such evil notions toward me?

Personally, I think that it is because he is a part of LDS (Mormon). He knew that real Christians believe that LDS is a cult. We believe that they have gone against specific Bible tenants about not believing in new prophets after Christ. We believe that the Bible is the inerrant word of God and cannot be replaced by fairy tales of being gods of planets and such (I have read the book of Morman-which has had over 4000 revisions since originally printed). They also don't have much respect for women. So, even though I think of myself as a Conservative, I cannot in good conscious vote for a Mormon for any office, just as I would not vote for a Muslim, Jehovah's Witness, Scientologist, etc.  (I have also read the Koran, and many books about religions)

Here I am on my soapbox again. I really don't like to do that. If you want to quit following me, go ahead. I didn't say I didn't love them, I just wouldn't vote for them.  As a child of the one true God, I love you all. 

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!